Celebrating Small Accomplishments

I have not talked a lot about it on the blog, because I really do not want to complain, but it was a hard, hard winter.

Since Maria's birth, I honestly could not believe how many things went wrong.  It was almost comical..almost.

For one thing, having her without any of my own family or friends from home around was A LOT harder than I anticipated.  So hard, in fact, that I absolutely will not have another baby without my own family (or at least my parents) around.

As I have mentioned before, it rains here all winter.  And, this year, all spring.  We are still having a lot of rain this May, which is unusual.  Rain is always depressing for me, but even more so when I am home all day every day with an infant.  And home for us this winter was literally one small room.  We had a bit of a home maintenance disaster, and our bedroom was totally closed off for the first 8 weeks of Maria's life.  Meaning, every single thing we did was in the other room (besides our bathroom, the rest of our home consists of one room that is a combination kitchen, eating area, and den.)  So, we slept on the couch, and my days were spent within those four walls...which were so absolutely jam-packed with baby stuff that I often felt as if there was no air to breathe.  I also would have given an arm for English-speaking daytime tv.

Also, we had a horrible ant infestation beginning about the end of February that we are still battling.  It is a lot better now (though still at a level that most would consider a home-takeover.)  But it was something awful.


Maria, adorable as she is, was also not the easiest infant.  She has acid reflux, which is diagnosed here, but not treated.  The doctor gave us no advice on how to handle it, only assured us that "it will go away one day."  We tried to manage it on our own with any research I found online.  I altered my diet so much that I hardly had a handful of things I allowed myself to eat, and we learned we absolutely could not lay her flat.

We also had some pretty big breastfeeding hurdles.  This was made worse by the fact that here there is no such thing as a lactation consultant, but everyone from the nurses to the pediatrician to my own gynecologist have pushed formula on me since literally the first 2 hours of her life.  As far as I can tell, Greek doctors have absolutely no faith in breastfeeding, and I have yet to meet a Greek woman who has not told me that they "were not able" to breastfeed (aka the doctor told them they did not make enough milk to satisfy their baby's demands...something I was also told.)  Apart from 5 days of formula at the insistence of our doctor (a disaster and a story for another day) we have muddled through with the breastfeeding, and things have gotten a lot better...but it was not easy.

Maria also was a non-sleeper.  Although everything I read about new babies talked about how they slept all the time she.literally.almost.never.slept.  It could be discouraging to read other moms' blogs (something I usually find a lot of encouragement in these days) as they talked about their babies sleeping all day.  Maria really did not sleep.  At all.  I have to admit, this also was rewarding in the fact that, from day one, she was alert and active and had a lot of personality.  Her early smiles and interaction certainly made things easier, but we were exhausted.

The doctor also ordered some tests that were scary and fairly traumatic.  We spent ALL DAY at a nasty lab one day (also a story for another day) to get a urine sample.  After 4 failed attempts at the lab, we finally collected one at home to tell us what I already knew...she did NOT have a bladder infection.  We also had to have a hip sonogram as the doctor suspected some imbalance in her hips...which are actually fine.  But those were scary days. 

Meanwhile, none of us were sleeping, our laundry was out of control, and, without my mom or other female friends or relatives to help and reassure me, I was a scared and alone.

I am not saying all of this to complain now, but I also wanted to give an accurate account of our first months.  I wish I had read more blogs like this early on, as it would have made me feel a little less alone.  I felt like every blog I read just talked about a happy sleepy baby who ate every 3 hours and then went back to dreamland.  More days than not, Maria LITERALLY wanted to eat 24 hours a day and slept only in 20 minute intervals and ONLY in my arms.

A little past 8 weeks old, Maria really turned a corner and started taking one 3 hour nap a day.  That changed my life!!!!  Then, when my parents were here, she did amazing.  Things were so good.  My mom helped so much to get her on a 3 hour eating schedule and she took a couple of naps every day.  I think me being so much calmer and more relaxed helped a lot, as well as all the added stimulation, my mom's expertise, and Maria just growing up.

By the end of their stay, I was feeling a lot better about facing the summer alone.

The day before they left, Maria came down with her first cold.  Christos, my dad, and I already had it, and my mom came down on the plane home.  I was scared about how I was going to handle the cold and the lack of sleep that would probably come with it along with my parents leaving.

The next day, the day that my parents left, Maria was also scheduled for her second round of vaccinations.  I asked Christos to call and cancel, but the doctor talked him in to coming anyway.  One of my main frustrations is having to have Christos always call the pediatrician, and, before that, the gynecologist.  My Greek is just not good enough to have conversations over the phone about medical issues, especially when emotions are involved.  Christos has a lot more blind faith in doctors than I do, so he tends to not ask the same questions I would ask and usually accepts what the doctor says off the bat.  So, off we went to get Maria's shots Friday afternoon.

It was not a good weekend.

We hardly slept AT ALL from Friday evening until Monday morning.

This post is about accomplishments, though, and Monday morning dawned a new day and a new start.  Maria took her morning nap like a good girl, we played and laughed and sang, and, in the afternoon, the sun started to come out.  We went to see daddy at work, and then Maria and I headed to the grocery store.

Now, I have tried this grocery store thing several ways.  In the first days, I always took Christos or Kristal along and they would sit in the car with Maria while I shopped.  Her carseat fills up the entire shopping cart, but I have, on a few occasions stacked cans of beans and rolls of toilet paper in all around her, angling them carefully around so that they would not fall on her.  When I have a partner (Kristal or my mom when she was here) we have tag-teamed it, me pushing the cart with the groceries and my partner pushing the cart with her carseat.  I have also used the Baby Bjorn at the grocery store about 4 times.  The first 2 times it worked like a charm, the second 2 times it was a total fail.

Anyway, Monday I decided to employ a new technique.  I got two shopping carts, put her in the first so that when I pushed she could see me, and pulled the second behind me full of the groceries.  SUCCESS!!!!  We were a high-speed high-efficiency shopping train with the cutest little engineer you ever saw in the first car!

(As a side note, in Greek, a shopping cart (that I really call a buggy at home) is called a "karochi."  A baby stroller has the same name.  It is also called a "karochi," or, if it is small, "karochaki."  Appropriate.) 


Even with all the stops I had to make for people to tell me how cute she is, ask if she is a girl or boy (why do they always ask, despite the fact that she is dressed like a little pink fluffly cloud?) ask how old she is, and touch her in some way (while I cringe and hope that I can make it out of their eyesight and wet-wipe her hands before she sticks them in her mouth again) we got all around the store in hardly any time at all...and got absolutely everything on my list.

Maria was awake the whole time and happy as can be, just taking it all in.

I was already feeling pretty elated about my shopping genius, my show-stopping baby, and my ability to converse only in Greek with all of Maria's fan club when I got to the cashier.  There was an English lady who was apparently having trouble with her card ahead of me in line.  The cashier asked me if I spoke English (I am well aware that I give off a very English-speaking vibe) and could I help.  I did all the translating between the cashier and the card-trouble lady and felt even better about life.  After months of feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and inadequate, here I was, competently speaking Greek, helping people, buying groceries, and managing a happy baby girl!

For the first time in a long time, I felt calm, capable, and confident.  And it felt good.

I nearly skipped out to my car on a rush of  "I can do this!" adrenaline.  And, to make it all that much better, I must have looked as calm and confident as I felt at that moment.  A Greek-American man I run into there from time to time came over to me as I unloaded my bags and got Maria strapped into the car and told me how impressed he was at how I managed my two carts, my bags, and my baby so easily.  I cannot tell you how good it felt to not only feel like I had a handle on things, but to know I looked like it as well!  I am so happy that man said something.

AND when I got home, the laundry that I had put outside on a gamble, despite the risky-looking skies, was almost dry (which can make or break a day around here when you have laundry up to your eyeballs and not enough sunny days to get it all done and dry.)  AND for the first time since Maria was born I cooked a real meal.  I have thrown together the odd pasta and frozen fare, but I actually peeled potatoes and chopped onions all while my sweet baby entertained herself in her nap nanny!  Ah, it felt so good.

For the record, I may have celebrated too much too early, as that evening was actually a little rough, and yesterday was the first day in 3 weeks Maria took no nap at all.  BUT, man it felt good Monday and we are getting there.  And today has been a good day again.  Each day things come a little easier, each day is one more day towards a totally sunny summer, and each day our little Maria gets even cuter and happier and more playful.  Each day is some new adventure and I am certainly never bored at all.

And, no matter how exhausted we are or how much laundry we are wading through, we have the sweetest most adorable baby girl around.  One little laugh from her, or one look at her chubby arms and nothing else matters anyway.