Oh baby!!!! Our bad doctor story

This is the story of our first prenatal doctors appointment.  I actually recorded this around the time that it happened.  We had not yet broadcast our pregnancy then, so it got stashed away.  Now that we are nearing the end of the pregnancy, I thought I would talk a little about the beginning.  As happy and calm as we are now, things started off a little scary.  This account is random and long, but also a very telling portrait of some of the obstacles we expats run into in our life abroad - in this case, sub-par medical care.

****All of the pictures contained in this post are of those in whose capable "hands" I would rather trust my medical care than our bad doctor.****  

I could talk all day about bad experiences I have had with health care during my days in Greece.  Maybe you will hear more about them later.  Most recently, Christos and I had an awful time at a dermatologist who, in addition to being one of the meanest women I have been around, checked Christos from ACROSS her (rather large) desk on some things.  On others (this strange rash on his upper arms that has come back 2 summers and makes him scratch like crazy..any ideas?) she did not even look and just shrugged and attributed it to stress.  Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!  I am mad talking about it now.   

This post is about my baby bad doctor though.

When we were first married, everybody on the island demanded that I "had" to get pregnant straight away.  The lady at our dvd rental place made the same demand.  She also asked if I had a doctor.  As I did not have an ob/gyn, and needed a check-up anyway, I accepted the card that she gave me for her doctor.  She assured me that he was good, smart, and spoke English.  When I got pregnant, as we did not want anyone to know about it, we could not ask anybody for recommendations for a good doctor.  I still had the card (and it was a nice card) and the lady at the rental place had said he was good.  So, we called and made an appointment.  (One good thing about the medical care here...you never have to wait at all...you just call and go.)

So, the day after I learned I was pregnant, we took ourselves to the doctor.  Once at the office we were seated in a small lobby.  From behind her desk way across the lobby (which had another patient waiting as well) the receptionist asked these questions, and these questions only:  my full name, Christos' full name, our area of Corfu, our home phone number, our cell phone numbers, if we are married, if we have other children, and my birthday.  I am sure that all patients want any and all other persons that happen to be waiting to know all of their personal business.  I am also sure that lists exhausts all possible things a doctor may want to know about a first time patient (conditions, allergies, etc. are apparently irrelevant.)

Then she told us to go down the hall, through the door on the right.  There was more than one door on the right.  All of them were closed.  We went with the idea that maybe it was the first door.  We knocked, and nobody opened.  We said something like hello, and we walked in a random door.  The doctor was there, seated at a desk.  He did not get up.  He did not say anything.  Christos and I sat down across from him in two chairs, and the three of us just sat there in silence staring at each other.  The doctor certainly did nothing to get the conversation started.  I can assure you that I felt really comfortable.  Finally, Christos said something like "So?"  That opened up our dialogue which consisted of two and only two questions "when was your last period?" and "are you having cramps?"  I told him.  Apparently those are the only things a doctor cares about knowing at all about a first time patient, who is also a first time pregnant patient.  He did not ask if I had ever been pregnant before (as there is a difference between having children ((which the receptionist did ask)) and having been pregnant....)  He did not ask if I was or had been on any medication, on birth control, if we were trying to get pregnant, or anything at all about my medical history.

He did not weigh me, he did not check my heartbeat, he did not check my temperature, blood pressure, or any other things you would expect a doctor you are visiting for the first time to do.  He did not give me any kind of "lady exam," touch my tummy at all, etc.  Now, not that he cares, but I have not been pregnant before, so I really did not know what to expect, but I have to say, I expected something more than that. 

The absolute one and only thing he did was a sonogram.  There is a baby inside.  That was good.

What was not good was that the doctor told me that the baby was measuring significantly behind where it should be...about 9 or 10 days.  Of course, this scared me.  He didn't really care to elaborate, but he did not make it sound good at all.  I asked him what that meant and he said it can mean two things 1) there is something wrong with the baby or 2) I was wrong about when I ovulated.  He said this in a matter of fact manner.  I knew that I could not be THAT wrong about the dates.  Later, before we left, I asked about this again.  He repeated that these were the two reasons.  When I asked what could be wrong, he said he didn't know, that is why I had to come again.  He did not make me feel very warm and happy.  Later, I researched it, and our second doctor assured us that so early on those dates are a complete guesstimate.  Our new wonderful doctor was shocked that bad doctor had not told us of that the fact that there was a (large) chance that the sonogram measurement was off as it was so early.  Our baby has measured right on schedule at every other appointment. 

After the sonogram, bad doctor proceeded to give us an old and tired spiel of about 8 sentences about what I can and cannot do.  You could tell that he had done it a thousand times, and he was totally bored, and wished he was doing anything at all else rather than talking to us.

According to the bad doctor, I cannot bend over forwards, stand up for long at all, lift things, travel anywhere, or do much of anything at all.  He did say that I could ride in a car.  I was thankful for that.  I asked him if I could continue running.  He honestly looked at me like I had just grown a second head right there in his office.  I actually think that part of his astonishment came from the idea that I would ever want to run at all, pregnant or not.  He gave a snarky little patronizing smile, chuckled, and said, no, I cannot.  I half expected him to ask if he thought people were going to chase me or something.  So, I asked if I could walk.  I am an exerciser, always have been, and the idea of 9 months on my arse does not sound at all pleasurable to me (or healthy.)   He told me that I could not walk fast, long, hard, or with any exertion whatsoever.  Basically, he said that I cannot walk just to walk, but, should I have to get somewhere, I was allowed to walk there.  

At one point, Christos dared to asked if I could have coffee/caffeine....  Apparently questions were not allowed, as they interrupted his well-rehearsed routine.  He gave my poor husband a look of death and told him he had to wait.  That was charming. 

He said that I can eat absolutely anything...and should eat everything...  My only dietary guideline was not to eat "candy, cakes, chocolates, pitas and pizzas every day."  Only every second day.  How disappointing.  Gag me. 


So, then he said I should take folic acid.  This was just about the only thing that rang true with everything I knew about pregnancy in America.  I take a daily multi-vitamin anyway that contains folic acid.  I asked him if I could continue taking that.  He never gave a definitive answer at all.  He did not really like questions.  He looked at me condescendingly as if to say, "This one is going to be a handful, everything she needs to know was in my 8 sentence, outdated, monologue.  How ridiculous and annoying that she should ask for further details or clarifications?"  The only other question that I asked was if I should take Omega 3.  He made me repeat this about 4 times, leading me to believe that he had no idea what I was actually asking.  He then said "whatever you want, all I care about is you taking folic acid."  Well, that was helpful. So, I can take ANY AND ALL medications....as long as I take folic acid????  What?

So, then he said what really put me over the edge, as in, have you taken an anatomy course, did you pass fourth grade????  He said, "LOOK.  THE FIRST THREE MONTHS THE BABY IS NOT ACTUALLY ATTACHED TO ANYTHING INSIDE OF YOU.  IT IS JUST FLOATING AROUND IN YOUR STOMACH.  LATER IT WILL ATTACH ITSELF TO THE WALL OF YOUR ABDOMEN.  (He demonstrated this all with his hands...as if, later, the baby was to grow tentacles and attach itself like a squid with little suction cups to the walls of my uterus.)  UNTIL, THEN, FOR THE FIRST THREE MONTHS, YOU HAVE TO BE VERY CAREFUL, BECAUSE, VERY EASILY, WITH LITTLE DRAMA AT ALL....THE BABY CAN JUST FALL OUT OF YOU AT ANY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Okay, has anyone else ever heard something like that?  I mean, is the man crazy???????  Now, again, I have never been pregnant before, and I am certainly not a doctor, but this seems contrary to almost everything I have heard/ read/ studied about pregnancy and the human body.   As and update, I am happy to say that I have miraculously made it to almost the end of my pregnancy, and have actually dared to bend over and (gasp) walk for exercise AND my baby did not fall out....although, it would be okay if she just "falls out" about a week or two from now.  

So, we left bad doctor and we went to the pharmacy.  I was crying.  Christos has never really even been around a pregnant woman, so, despite the fact that he realized the man was not very charming, warm, or pleasant, he had no reason to believe the majority of what bad doctor said was not accurate.

The pharmacy was another fiasco.  I will not even get into that all now.  All I will say is I now use that pharmacy only to buy face wash...and my faith in the hands in which I was placing my medical care was further damaged.  

A couple of days later we had to call the doctor.  We had a little scare, and, despite his apparent distaste for questions, he had said we could call him anytime. (The problem I was having that day cleared up that same day, and I have never had it again.)

I made Christos call.  When he told the doctor what was happening, the doctor said "What?  Did somebody come by and put a a stamp on her and say that was happening?"  The sarcasm was not appreciated.

Christos was scared and had no idea what was happening...his wife was in the kitchen crying over the chopping board, and the doctor was nasty and made Christos feel embarrassed and like a bad child.  What the doctor wanted was obviously an elaboration on Christos part, but I can think of about a thousand more pleasant ways he could have asked a scared first time daddy-to-be for clarification.  He then asked to talk to me.  He made a very rash, extreme demand on my part and then said if my problems continued call tomorrow and he would call in a progesterone prescription.  The idea of him wanting to put me on hormones straight away without even caring to actually examine me was about all I could handle.  And I was insanely mad at the way he talked to Christos.

We never went back.

So, that is the story of our first doctor.  What should have been a happy day was a total disaster.  To say I was scared would be the understatement of the year.

We immediately made an appointment with another doctor.  He is absolutely wonderful, and we are so happy with him!  After the bad doctor, the pharmacist, and another bad doctor that I went to for a sore throat a couple of weeks into my pregnancy (another story for another day) my faith in the care my baby and I would get was more than a little shaken.

Since then, I have been self-educating.  I may have read more about pregnancy than any other woman has ever read.  Based on my careful study, I am sure that the doctor in whose hands we have now placed our care is competent, abreast of current medical studies, and well-practiced.  He also has a very calm, comforting manner, is always happy to answer any and all questions, and you get the feeling that he actually cares.

We are happy now!

So, that is your story for the day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And, the next time you are exasperated by a long wait in a doctor's office, just be happy that you receive adequate care once you are seen.  It is worth the wait!!!!